Faith crisis.

I have been facing faith crisis for the past 2 days, couldn't concentrate in praying or reading the Lord's words, or hearing the Father's voice. The emotions and thoughts were mainly pointing towards myself, and not focusing my life upon Jesus. Have been very lost and trying to find my way back, and feel like how i felt before when my life was so filled with God's grace. Not that God's grace is not filling my life now, just that I didn't turn and notice it with me. After having a God blessed lunch with Naomi, I'm willing to pick up myself again. I mean, willing to let the Lord pick me up. Now that I realize I shouldn't be looking back and hoping to be like last time, cause' I will never grow in that way. I should depend on the Lord and move forward. That will be the way that I grow in Him through the good and bad.

A funny thought just came across. Imagine a person fell down on the floor. And while the person is on the floor, he keep thinking of going back to when he was walking before the fall. But that will never happen, because no one can dive upwards and backwards right? The only way to walk again, is to move forward and stand up! If not he will just continue to lie flat on the floor. I think that could relate to our spiritual life too.

I keep thinking of being the person that God wants me to be, and end up I am actually living a life that I thought God wants me to be. Not really exactly what He wanted. I have always been listening and reading His words, and thinking, "oh, I shall live a life like that, and God will be so happy and will keep on blessing me with His words." I realised that was only partly true. Cause' no matter I live a life that pleases Him anot, He will still love me as I am and blesses me with an abundunt life.

Thank God for simply giving me the sudden feeling of asking this sister of Christ out for lunch, and through her, He told me how much He had loved me and will love me for eternity. Now that I know clearer, every single big or small things in life, happens in a way that God blesses us.

Looking back, I suddenly got a new LG chocolate phone for free, I made alot of superb friends in the past few weeks, I got a new hp pouch and a strip hanging there for Christmas exchange...so many many things that God had blessed me with, yet I only focused on what I should do for the Lord and neglected the importance of counting my blessings and give thanks to Him.

While I wasn't giving thanks to Him, I simply take all the things that were given to me as if life is about give and take. Leaving out the thought that there is one great One above blessing us all with such things. God is a all rounded God. He blesses us with His words, with people around us, with materials and breathe for everyday. With regards to no matter how we much we did for Him, He still loves and blesses us everyday.

My emotions simply poured out as I'm typing. Find this entry very messy and repetitive everywhere. But this is currently how I feel and what I wished to say, there is a reason why I feel this way and typed this way today. God has His plans in everything, including my weakness in typing an entry today.=)

Thank you Lord for bringing back from the wild~